Gishdistnasod
by QQQ p
Summary: A party of seven dwarves embark on a terrifying glacier. What could go wrong?
1. Ch1: Glacial progress

**Chapter 1: Glacial Progress**

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><p>"Why are we travelling to Certain Death again?" asked Taffer shivering in the back of the wagon.<br>"It's not Certain death!" replied Magnok wearily, "For the last time it's just a terrifying glacier"  
>"I fail," said Taffer blinking and yawning, "to understand how that reply did anything apart from confirm what I just said"<p>

"Exactly. I knew you'd begin to see reason" laughed Magnok and patted Taffer on the back.

"Wait what?"

But it was too late to probe further Magnok had already leaned out of the window to chat to the dwarf on whipping duty, "How's it going laddie?" he shouted snow and ice smashing against his face. The icy mountains moaned wearily as if their very existence was a blight upon the world.

There was no response. Magnok frowned irritated that he didn't respond.

"Laddie?" he called again. There was no sound apart from the wind howling against the glacial mountainside like a heard of skeletal banshee zombie skeletons. Magnok focused his eyes and wiped the snow off and squinted. The wind groaned and it was impossible to see further than a couple of feet. He stroked his beard as a shape appeared just visible slumped over the animals.

"What's up?" asked Urist rubbing her hands. She was shivering , "Is he okay?"

"Most of him is," said Magnok, "I think you're going to have to take over though Taffer he looks a bit sick"

"Well what's wrong with him?" asked Urist looking concerned.

"Well," began Magnok a little nervously, "to be exact his head is… 'gone'"

"Well where did he put it?" laughed Lumpy, "I mean it's kind of hard to lose"

"I don't know. Maybe he forgot to bring it with him?" shrugged Magnok, "For Armok's sake Lumpy I'm serious. He's dead!"

"I thought you were joking," whispered Lumpy nervously, "You are joking right?"

"No! His head is gone. For some reason the Zebras are still pulling the wagon without his whipping encouragements. We're probably completely lost; Armok save us!"

"Phew!" said Taffer wiping the frozen sweat of his brow, "Guess that means we can head back to Dwarfcity now eh?"

"No we're going to make an outpost don't be stupid," replied Magnok, "just think of the riches that must be buried underneath all that ice!"

"More ice?" suggested Taffer sarcastically.

"Keep digging and eventually you'll hit magma, that's what my father always used to say," chuckled Magnok.

"Why didn't you take him with us?" asked Lumpy.

"Him? Oh he died when I was a kid poor bugger. Magma related accident"

"So where are we then?" asked Lumpy, "we better get out and have a look"

"Gerome can you get out and have a look for us?" asked Magnok to a broad nosed sharp eyed dwarf with a large axe. Gerome smiled and nodded calmly, "because you're too scared to go out and look yourself is that it Magnok?"

"Yes that would be why," replied Magnok as if it were a simple question with a simple answer.

"Gerome don't go!" whispered Melia his wife, "it's dangerous out there. Make one of the others go!"

"You weaklings!" spat Gerome and gripped the handle of his iron battle axe as if it were the throat of a dying goblin, "I'm not afraid of death Magnok. Its you that's afraid of life all of you! Let me show you how a soldier does things!"

Gerome opened the door. With a growl he jumped out brandishing his axe. He disappeared vertically downwards into the snowstorm. There was a long trailing whooshing sound followed by a loud resounding crack that echoed through the mountain range.

"That didn't sound good," murmured Taffer

"Gerome my love!" shrieked Melia and leaped out after him.

"NO!" roared Magnok trying to grab her but it was too late. His hand touched hers briefly but she was gone in an instant. There was another whooshing sound followed by a loud crunch this time slightly softer as if it had landed on something.

Magnok looked out wearily down into the abyss, "Okay. Dwarves, we're on top of the mountain. Armok knows how we managed to get up here but I suggest nobody else exits the wagon from this side"

Magnok crawled across the others and stepped out carefully through the other door and helped the dainty Urist down. The others got out shivering in the freezing cold stamping their boots.

"Okay Lumpy you got your pick ready?"

"Sure thing boss," he replied a little uneasily, "Where'd you want to dig to?"

"Down," he replied, "Strike the earth!"

* * *

><p>Lumpy was certainly a grumbler but he was good at his job and soon had dug through the ice layer into some nice rock. At Magnok's orders he carved out a huge food stockpile and they carted in all the edible supplies into that magic dwarven room where nothing ever went rotten. To be safe Lumpy dug a long passageway into the main part of the prospective fortress and a small hall that would sort of serve as an entrance. It was here that Magnok constructed a mason's workshop and started on building the first thing that came to his mind: stone coffins.<p>

When they had scooped up the remains of the other three and buried them Magnok constructed a few doors out of lumps of stone and they shut the door for the night. They sat in the darkness of their hall rubbing their hands and shivering. Urist was crying at the pain of the world.

"Ha! Fun times eh?" said Magnok with a grin. Lumpy was already asleep completely exhausted from the day.

"We're going to need food and booze," said Taffer munching on a purple mushroom, "This stuff won't last forever"

"How can you eat those things?" asked Magnok raising his eyebrows, "They taste horrible!"

"How can you not like mushrooms?" replied Taffer, "Every dwarf worth his own beard loves mushrooms right Urist?"

"She's crying leave her alone," shrugged Magnok

"Shouldn't you attend a meeting with her or something?" said Taffer irritably, "I mean you are the expedition leader for what that's worth"

"I'm okay!" whimpered Urist in floods of tears

"See? she's okay," said Magnok with a grin, "Meeting over"

"You are terrible at this." grumbled Taffer

"Hey chum!" glared Magnok, "Four of us are still alive on the first day... Nobody thanked me for that!"

Taffer said something inaudible.

"What was that?"

"Nothing I just bit my tongue that's all"

Magnok rested his chin on his fist and glared at the rock floor. Taffer rolled over and pretended to instantly start sleeping. Magnok sighed and turned to Urist. Her head was in her hands.

"Urist," he sighed.

"Yes Magnok?" she asked choking on tears

"I'm sorry life is so crappy"

"That's okay It's not your fault"

"No it kind of is. I mean this expedition to the glacier was my idea. ALL my idea"

"Don't be so hard on yourself"

"I'm not I'm just saying it's all my fault and I'm sorry. It's just it's the fashion to embark on evil glaciers these days ever since that Ironblood person did it"

"Captain Ironblood," said Urist dreamily and smiled.

"I'm just happy that we're all still alive that's all. Well those of us who are alive I mean discounting the dead ones"

"Magnok shut up I'm trying to sleep," groaned Taffer who had been disturbed by noise recently.

"Sorry," grumbled Magnok and rolled over onto the cold stone floor, "Won't be so plucky when I'm mayor and order you hammered," he whispered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing I just bit my tongue"

* * *

><p>Morning resulted in the inevitable hangover that would have left any normal human bedridden for a week. Taffer yawned drowsily his arms clenched round an extremely large half eaten purple mushroom. Magnok groaned and sat up, "Where am I?" he growled unable to use his voice properly.<p>

Taffer opened his eyes, "Oh god… it wasn't a dream"

Urist glanced over at the three coffins propped up vertically against the wall and felt her stomach lurch. Tears started welling up in her eyes but she held them back.

Magnok stood up, "Dwaves! Today we can further our work in praise of Armok god of blood! The first thing we need to do is dump all this stone somewhere. However there is no need to dump the stone in this room; I'll make it into doors and chairs and tables and things. But the stuff in the bedrooms and corridors has got to go"

"Where do you want us to put it?" asked Taffer wearily

"Lumpy can you carve us out a dump?"

"Sure thing boss," he nodded, "Where'd you want it?"

"Make it a diagonal passage and we can dump dead bodies there and the smell won't reach us. Put it near the potential mason and craftdwarf workshops"

"Magnok," interrupted Taffer, "we need Urist to start planting some crops"

"Why's that?" asked Magnok

"Well if she doesn't we'll all run out of food and die," he replied trying not to sound angry.

"Oh…" said Magnok scratching his chin through his beard, "Yes I see. Okay Urist can you start a farm in here?"

"Not really," she replied still a little out of her mind.

"Why not?" he inquired

"Well its rock Magnok," she replied sadly, "I can't grow anything on rock. We have to irrigate the ground with water"

"Great! So lets do that," said Magnok clapping his hands together. There was a long silence as he looked to the others for reassurance.

"There is none," said Taffer irritably, "It's a frozen glacier where do you expect us to find water that isn't frozen?"

Magnok looked at the floor as if he'd been hit by a thunderbolt.

"Geez this is more difficult than I thought," he said vigorously scratching at his beard, "How on earth do dwarves survive in these situations?"

"Generally they don't," said Taffer, "In fact the last thirteen embarks to this glacier failed"

"Failed? How badly?" asked Magnok biting his nails

"As in the traders had to eat the dead bodies of their friends to make it back to dwarf city alive," replied Taffer solemnly

"Okay smart-bucket why'd you come on this trip then if you think it's so suicidal?"

"A: I didn't know where we were going. B: I tried to sell a wooden bin of Gold Goblets to the elves and the mayor of dwarf city ordered me to be hammered with the captain of the guard's best silver ware. It was either come with you guys or get killed"

"So you do carpentry?" asked Magnok confirming an earlier conversation.

"Yes…" replied Taffer unimpressed.

"On a glacier…" continued Magnok deep in thought.

"I can see where this is going and the answer is most definitely no"

"You didn't know what I was going to ask"

"You were going to ask me to go and cut down some trees"

"So why can't you?"

Taffer slapped his hand against his head, "Because Magnok, we're on a glacier. There are no trees. For that matter I don't think I've seen anything alive since we came here. ANYTHING" he added as if it were written on his tombstone.

"Okay…" sighed Magnok sounding a little disappointed, "I guess you'll have to help me haul stone then instead"

"You know…" said Urist a little shyly, "I heard that there's soil deep down in the caverns? We could, you know, mine down and start a farm in there"

"Okay lets do that!" said Magnok "nothing could possibly go wrong"

"In the caverns?" said Taffer, "Are you out of your mind?"

Lumpy had been following the conversation a little half-heartedly and unsure as to whether or not he was supposed to go off and start mining again. He wasn't the brightest of Armok's creations, "How do you know there are caverns?"

"There's always caverns," replied Taffer, "just as there's always magma. Thing is both of them are filled with dark horrible creatures with slime fangs, poison and tentacles, large sharp pointed razor teeth that can chop a dwarf in two!"

Urist shrieked.

"Its fine we'll wall it off," shrugged Magnok, "I'm a mason I'll just build a wall how hard can it be?"

"No you won't you'll get distracted by a plump helmet man or something," grumbled Taffer, "Look if we're going to do this, which by the way is a really dumb idea, lets at least do it properly. Lumpy will dig into the caverns then all of us! And I mean ALL of us will help build a wall to stop the dark creatures of the depths coming in to feast on our fleshy bones"

"Bones aren't made of flesh," said Lumpy

"Just…" said Taffer tightening his hands into fists, "You, but ,IT, Do, fine…"

"Okay so let's do it that thing which he just said!" grinned Magnok.

"Armok save us," whispered Taffer as they headed down the passageway, "at least things cannot get any worse"


	2. Ch2: Mushrooms lead to strange dreams

**Chapter 2:Mushrooms lead to strange dreams**

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><p>It took Lumpy a couple of days to dig down and actually breach a cavern. By that time Taffer and Urist had managed to clear most of the rock from the main complex. The more stone Lumpy mined out the faster it seemed he worked. A few days after their arrival Taffer deconstructed the wagon and they brought in whatever else they could use that wasn't food including the blood stained iron axe that Gerome had formerly owned.<p>

"Boss! Boss!" Lumpy had called out excitedly.

"What's up?" yawned Magnok wearily. He'd gotten bored with making chairs and had moved on to mugs in the craftdwarf workshop. Only thing was he now had rather a lot of them and as he turned round his feet shuffled clanking through piles of rock mugs. Lumpy almost tripped over them as he entered struggling with the massive stone doors.

"Boss! Boss!" said Lumpy trying to balance, "I found a cavern!"

"Armok be praised!" said Magnok standing up, "Show me at once!"

He followed Lumpy out and down the long passageway to the massive stairwell that Lumpy had carved into the rock.

"Urist! Taffer!" shouted Magnok into the darkness, "Lumpy's found a cavern!"

"Is he alive?" he heard Taffer call back distantly.

"Yes he's fine!" called back Magnok raising his eyebrows

"Coming"

Magnok shrugged and followed Lumpy down the stairs. Taffer was always ominous with his responses.

The caverns were a long way down into the depths of the mountain. It took them at least twenty minutes to reach the crude entrance that Lumpy had carved but when he finally arrived at the bottom he was truly amazed.

"Armok's beard!" whispered Magnok. He'd never seen an underground cavern with his own eyes and by Armok what an incredibly beautiful place it was. Huge multi coloured mushrooms grew up tall some all the way to the roof. The ground was covered with moss and smaller mushrooms of a multitude of different bright colours. He could distantly hear the sound of water. There was an underground lake here it seemed?

Huge stalagmites and stalactites loomed into the cavern along with strange shinny webs that collected around mushrooms that dripped with ooze.

"Well done Lumpy!" said Magnok patting him on the back. Urist and Taffer followed shortly behind puffing and panting as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Taffer took one look at the webs and shuddered in fear, "Oh god, cave spiders"

"Eeek! Where!" shuddered Urist

"Not here!" replied Taffer with a look of bewilderment, "I'm just saying they'll be around what with all these webs and I'm not talking about the small ones"

"Your not afraid of little spiders are you Taffer!" chuckled Magnok, "We'll make a dwarf of you yet!"

"I'm not talking about little spiders I'm talking about… you know what never mind. When you see one you'll know what I'm talking about and I'll be happy. Okay so are we going to stand here all day or what?"

The wall was hard work especially as they didn't have any rock blocks. It took them the rest of that day to construct it and it was not an easy job. To save a time they used the natural giant cave walls as part of the design. Obviously nothing was going to come through a cave wall except a dwarf with a pick – or perhaps a goblin on an uneven embark site. Magnok oversaw the project being the Mason he was and even Taffer was impressed with how easily he worked on the stone.

Magnok took a sigh of relief when it was all over and they celebrated upstairs by opening up the final keg of dwarven ale. It tasted good but there was a sadness in the booze, each dwarf knowing full well that after this the next couple of months or perhaps even years, would be filled with endless barrels of dwarven mushroom wine.

Humans have always wondered the secret of making wine out of mushrooms. Apparently according to dwarves it is possible. It is a closely guarded secret, or at least a secret that nobody has yet been bothered to ask them as the stuff tastes a bit like shoe polish.

BrethVI the human king of Grassmoor was once invited to dwarf city to conduct a border passage rights document. It is said that he tried the drink only once and remarked that it tasted very nice. He then turned to a messenger and ordered that some runners be sent to bring some strawberry wine as soon as possible. He drank water for the rest of the week until it arrived. This was something that the dwarves found very curious as there was plenty more dwarven wine freely available and any dwarf who would rather drink water than booze was either sick or melancholy. The dwarves asked Breth about this the following year to which he had replied approvingly, "Some things are too good to try twice. However I would be interested to hear if you have any more of these gold goblets?"

The four of them celebrated by eating the remainder of the meat supplies that they had left. The rat roast and fly brains tasted exquisite when mixed with booze.

"Do you want some mushrooms with that?" lumpy had asked

"Put that mushroom in my face again," said Magnok with a glare, "and I'll shove it up an orifice that isn't mine"

"What's an orifice?"

"Lumpy," said Taffer chuckling and leaning across the stone table, "Just don't do it"

"Why don't you like mushrooms?" asked Urist, "They're yummy!"

"I just don't like them okay!" growled Magnok

"Suit yourself," said Taffer tearing off a chunk. He dipped it in his mug of ale and scoffed it down.

"Tomorrow you can start growing these," said Taffer nudging Urist in the ribs

"That will be fun," she smiled.

Magnok sat back in his chair, "This is the life! Adventure excitement! These would be heroes claim all the fame through their stupid quests but you know what? I think the most adventure is to be had with us dwarves who found settlements. This is the real adventure!"

"Maybe you should say: who found and survive settlements?" added Taffer

"I hope we make lots of nice things," smiled Urist approvingly, "I like your mug!"

"This one?" said Magnok holding up a mug of ale

"No not that one. The one I saw in the craft dwarf workshop"

"Oh," said Magnok a little taken aback, "Which one was that? There's rather a lot of them"

"The one with the Zebra engraved on it," said Urist, "I thought the Zebra looked really cute"

Magnok raised an eyebrow, "I made rather a lot of those"

"Yes I know but this one looked really cute. I thought you did a really good job on it"

"I see…" said Magnok the compliment now seeming further and further more unobtainable, "Thanks"

They looked at their food all the while Urist smiled with her twinkling eyes seemingly unaware of the awkward silence.

"Anyway…" said Taffer

They talked for a long time forgetting for a while their fears and worries. They talked of home and hopes for the fort. Even Taffer joined in saying he'd just be happy if they one day made some soap. It seemed like the first time they had really had together to get to know each other, the first time they'd had any real success as a group. They spoke of other famous forts like Nist Akath and Koganusan although the latter was only a brief mentioning. There are some tales that are better left untold.

They spoke of former loves and tales of romance and adventure and their talking went in long into the night until they were all drunk and tired with booze. It was as they were all thinking about getting some sleep on the comfy freezing stone floors that something a little worrying happened. It was then that they realized, or were reminded of, that they were not the only inhabitants of the mountain.

There was a distant rattling of stone from the entrance.

Magnok leaped to his feet "Armok's beard, what was that!" he exclaimed in a hushed voice.

They listened intently suddenly aware of the noises of the mountain. Although they were deep inside they could still hear the wind. It whistled in through the cracks in the door. Urist looked terrified, Lumpy had his hand over his mouth. They had all heard the sound but had no idea who or what it was.

Taffer stood up and walked over to where Magnok stood. He strained to listen.

"Is somebody at the door?" whispered Urist quietly.

They listened afraid. Again they heard it a rattling of stone distantly down the corridor towards the entrance. Something was outside in the snow. Something was trying to get inside.

"We should let them in!" hissed Urist, "They could die out there!"

"That's not our problem?" suggested Taffer, "I think we should just stay here"

"No come on that's not honourable," said Magnok glaring at Taffer, "we'll take a look. Follow me everyone but be very, very quiet okay!"

Lumpy and Urist nodded hands clasped over their lips like little dwarven children. Together they crept down the corridor being careful not to scrape the chairs or trip over stone mugs. The corridor seemed long and dangerous now. There was next to no light but dwarves can see in the darkness. The things in the dark that men fear and fear for good reasons, things that should never be seen by man can be seen by dwarves and they are not grateful for this.

They crept down the corridor until they reached the stone doors. They could hear the wind outside. It was calmer than the storm that they had arrived in but even so it still whistled through the gap like the spaces in a cave crocodile's front teeth. They waited in silence. Magnok leaned closer to the exit his heart beating like mad.

BAM BAM the doors shook with the force as something banged against it. They cowered in fear backing away from it. A deathly moan issued from the other side followed by a scraping sound of nails against the stone. Taffer looked frozen in terror.

"What is that?" whispered Magnok.

"Should we open the door?" asked lumpy

"Idiot!" hissed Taffer, "Nobody touch that door and be quiet! Maybe it will go away?"

Again there was the sound of nails against the door scratching the stone. Heavy breathing like the creature had a hole in one of its lungs. That is if it even had lungs.

"I think it's a Yeti," whispered Taffer after a while.

"A Yeti?" whispered back Magnok, "Are they dangerous?"

"Yes they're huge abominable snow creatures but I don't think it's a normal one. I think its skeletal"

"Oh Armok!" whispered Urist putting her hands over her mouth.

The creature breathed heavily and then gradually it calmed down. After a short time they heard heavy footsteps carry away in the snow cripplingly as if every one of them was an effort. The sound of the wind returned to their consciousness and they waited for what seemed like an eternity for someone to break the silence.

"Okay," whispered Magnok at length, "I think its gone"

"It will be back," said Taffer with a rigid stare

They looked at each other in panic. Nobody dared speak until Magnok nodded slowly.

"These doors," pointed Magnok his hand shaking, "nobody is to open these doors until further notice"

"Okay!" whispered Urist quietly. She was shaking with fear.

"Because if you open them those things will come in and kill us all!" added Taffer unnecessarily.

"Okay," nodded Magnok again, "shows over. Everyone back inside"

That episode kind of took the edge off the party and the dwarves fell to sleep that night uncertain of their futures. It was the same as they had felt for the last couple of days since they arrived. Taffer shook his head as he lay in the dark. It felt to him like it was more a question of how long they could survive for not 'if'. If something got in and the others weren't around it could pick them off one by one. After all, all they had was a pick and an axe. What was that going to do against a Yeti?

Taffer sighed and rolled over. He looked up from the floor to see a Skeletal Yeti staring him in the face. A worm oozed out of its eye socket and it bared its teeth sniffing his flesh.

"Armok!" he roared but it had him bones round his puny neck. He gasped for breath as it squeezed the life out of him. He felt his vertebrae go snap before he opened his eyes one last time to see the cave roof. The creature was gone. It was just a dream. His mouth was wide open in terror. Distantly he heard scraping at the door and he turned his head to look in the direction of the corridor. Drool dripped down his cheek.

"Armok…" he whispered.


	3. Ch3: The story of Iffis

**Chapter 3: The Story of Iffis**

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><p>The next day Lumpy started work on some of the major architecture of the fort. If they were going to survive in the long run then they would need to produce goods to trade, which meant they needed stockpiles and a Trade Depot. They got lumpy to carve out the Trade Depot room first so that they could start work on it immediately while he could do more digging. There was so much stone to get rid of as well. It seemed that Lumpy was getting better and better at leaving large chunks of stone lying around. Urist and Taffer would continue to walk past carrying lumps of the stuff as Magnok attempted to design the trade depot.<p>

"Taffer!" hissed Magnok as Taffer walked path carrying a lump of Orthoclose.

"What's up?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing well… actually there is something. I have no idea how to design a trade depot!"

"What? Oh well its really not hard," shrugged Taffer, "it has five pillars one in the middle and one on each corner"

"Yes but… how do I design it?"

"You just stand in the middle of the room and look at it like this," replied Taffer standing in the middle of the room and looking at it.

Together Taffer helped Magnok design the thing and they built it together out of orthoclase. They then helped Urist with some more stone. Stone hauling seemed to take forever there was just so much of it and for only four dwarves this was a huge undertaking. A few days later Magnok was so relieved when Urist and Lumpy came out with the last few pieces of stone from the now bulging finished goods stock pile.

"That's a lot of mugs and crafts," noticed Lumpy.

"Indeed it is!" admired Taffer giving Magnok a pat on the back, "What say we all get something nice to eat and drink?"

"Oh yes please!" added Urist.

"You think these will sell?" asked Magnok looking at an exceptionally designed mug.

"Yea those idiots will buy anything," shrugged Taffer.

Cheerily the four of them headed towards the food stock pile bellies grumbling. They were getting to know the passageways of the fort quite well now. When the time came they would start trapping the entrance but right now nobody was any good with mechanics so that would have to wait. Besides they would need cages and no dwarf in history had yet managed to carve a cage out of rock. They were going to need wood which would mean going into the caverns and chopping down a few mushrooms and that was dangerous. That would mean knocking a whole in the wall and building a door or bridge or something. It gave Magnok the shivers just thinking about it.

They had been lucky so far. Nothing had gotten in, nothing had sucked out their brains and nobody else had died and seeing how their numbers were so low this was probably a good thing. Lumpy was feeling the strain as well he had been mining all day and couldn't wait to bite into a nice mushroom or too. He needed booze to get through the working day the same as the rest of them and the thought of some nice mushroom wine brought saliva to his lips just thinking about it.

They arrived at the stockpile and opened the doors with a creak, "boy I can't wait," began Magnok before his mouth dropped. He looked about him in despair. The room was empty apart from a few barrels lying sideways on the floor that had nothing in them.

"Where's all the food!" said Lumpy with a sad face.

"But I don't understand!" said Magnok turning to Urist in a panic, "I thought you were going to make a farm in the caverns!"

"I was!" she replied defensively. The others looked at her expectantly but she did not finish the sentence or explain herself. Taffer waited until the silence had become aggravatingly unbearable and then scratched vigorously at his hair and face.

"So… why … didn't you?"

"Because I was hauling stone with the rest of you dwarves," she replied, "Friends have to help friends right?"

Magnok picked up the axe.

"Magnok NO!" shouted Taffer struggling with the blade, "Magnok calm down we can still make this work! Magnok put the axe down! Magnok!"

Lumpy put the pick in his mouth and sucked it like a dummy, "So where's the food then?" he asked as the two struggled. He'd already cut his tongue about seven times since they'd arrived but by now the pick was beginning to get a little blunt on one side and his tongue was getting much harder.

Magnok sighed choking back tears and let go of the axe. He had sat down helplessly and gazed despondently at the floor. Taffer glared at Urist holding the axe over one shoulder, "Lets go down to the caverns… and everyone is going to stay calm"

* * *

><p>If the elves had seen the following they would have probably made a remark that would have sparked a tantrum spiral so it was lucky that none of them were stupid enough to be in this god forsaken place. Four dwarves were lying face down eyes looking at the muddy ground. They stared at the soil as if they were waiting for worms to pop out and call "the end is nigh!".<p>

"Have you seen any mushrooms yet?" called Magnok

"Not yet," replied Taffer staring at the soil, "What about you Lumpy?"

"Nothing," he replied woozily not even turning his head like the rest of them, "I'm hungry"

"Yea well tell that to Urist!" glared Taffer looking at Urist who was over at the other end of the farm. To her credit she had now planted every last Plump helmet spawn she had found and they were now waiting, bellies growling like tigers, for the purple mushrooms to emerge.

"Urist," smiled Magnok dangerously, "From now on you plant food okay? You plant food and you brew food into booze. You're too special to haul stone from now on okay?"

"Okay…" she said nervously finally realizing that everyone was close to murdering her, "I'm sorry guys I just didn't realize how important it was"

"Its okay Urist," smiled Lumpy, "You're still my friend"

"You'll be my friend if I get something to eat," growled Magnok, "Taffer I still say the axe was the better option"

"Axe maybe was the most tempting option but we all would have died," he replied, "I hate to say this but we could really do with some migrants"

"Don't say that word," hissed Magnok

"What word?"

"You know… that word you said"

"Oh right… well I meant what I said," sighed Taffer gazing at the ground.

POP a mushroom came out and poked him in the eye, "Ouch my eye!" he shouted.

"What's wrong?" called Urist, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" he responded, "It's just a mushroom"

"Armok be praised!" shouted Magnok and they all shot up and ran over to Taffer.

Carefully they started dividing the mushroom up between them.

"You can have this bit, and here's a bit for you," said Magnok being careful with the axe not to chop his fingers off.

POP. Another mushroom appeared followed by another. Very soon there were purple mushrooms everywhere.

"Lumpy after this you're going to need to carve out some space for a still," said Taffer biting into a mushroom. Magnok growled as he bit into the plump helmet, "Cat's vomit," he hissed.

"In the meantime Magnok we're going to need something to drink," said Taffer unsure how to continue.

"Your right I'm pretty thirsty myself," he said pulling a face as he ate more of the mushroom, "We could wait until Urist makes the still?"

"For some reason that doesn't fill me with confidence," said Taffer, "Any more ideas?"

Magnok nodded, "There is one other thing we can do but it's dangerous"

"Go back home?" asked Taffer tossing a piece of mushroom in the air and catching it.

"No and we both know we wouldn't make it back alive anyway," retorted Magnok, "There's a lake over yonder in the caverns. We could take some mugs and get ourselves a drink. You could also cut down some mushrooms while you're at it"

"Oh Armok," sighed Taffer shaking his head, "I was hoping you'd say something else"

In his heart and more importantly in his parched throat Taffer knew it was true. They'd have to go and drink water if only for the day. Horrible water with no taste or flavour and nothing to make your head go woozy. This was indeed a sad day. Not only were they going to actively seek out find and attempt to drink water, they were also going to do it from a murky cavern pool probably surrounded by Reachers and Elk birds. Taffer remembered the ancient story of Iffis the trader dwarf from church and shook his head. Iffis the dwarf who had defied Armok. He remembered how the priest had told the story of how Iffis had ignored Armok and suffered the consequences. His mind wandered remembering the priest and those days which seemed now so far away back in dwarf city.

* * *

><p><strong>The Story of Iffis<strong>

Children and worshippers of Aman I will talk to you today of Iffis the dwarf who defied Armok! Long ago in the forgotten lands when the first of our kind walked the earth and the space elevator had not yet been cut off from our world, Iffis the broker snoozed on a rock. The dwarves said to him, 'Iffis one day you'll sleep through your own execution!' to which he laughed foolishly as he was a lazy dwarf.

'I'll do as I please! Armok made us dwarves to do as we please. We dig and carve and drink and that is our way!'

But the others shook their head knowing full well that no good could come of this for there is nothing that Armok despises more than a lazy dwarf, except perhaps a sick rotting dwarf on fire. And so it came to be a few months later that an expedition from the high elves came to the fortress with many fantastical things to trade such as wooden shields and chainmail [also knitted from wood]. Most importantly was the great wine that those elves brought as the fortress stock of booze was running low as the brewer had died in an unrelated accident involving a drawbridge.

Armok then spoke to Iffis as he was the broker and indeed back in those ancient times Armok would speak to the dwarves directly and tell them what he desired of us.

'Iffis my son. I want you to barter with the Elves, go now and collect thine wits and buy all of their booze, for they hath no use for it in mine eyes the flesh eating pansies'

'Armok be praised!" exclaimed Iffis, "This indeed is a great honour! But first I shall take a nap to aid my concentration!'

'Very well dwarf do as you will but make haste' replied Armok showing little emotion that a dwarf could hope to understand for there are none amongst us that can comprehend the will of God.

"Iffis slept and some time later he awoke feeling hungry. Armok again came to Iffis a second time and spoke unto him, 'Iffis my son go now and do as I ask and make haste as the elves are inpatient with thine idleness'

'I shall do as ye have asked oh great one!' exclaimed Iffis, 'but first I shall get something to eat and drink for woe betide any dwarf who trades on an empty stomach!'

'Very well child but after this you must do what I ask or there will be consequences for thine self, for no dwarf can defy my will for long or else they shalt be cast into the lake of fire'

Iffis went to the food stockpiles of that land and ate heartily on mushroom roasts and giant cave spider sweet meats for back then the giant cave spiders were tame creatures that would not so much as dare hurt a dwarf, but that is another story. After Iffis had quenched his lips and filled his belly he returned to his rock and sat down and put his hands behind his head. Armok returned again to Iffis and he was not pleased.

'Iffis why do you defy me? The elves are getting ready to leave but if you make haste you can still barter with them. Answer me young one!"

'Lord Armok the elves would not dare leave here without trading! It would surely be an insult and I must rest before I go to them as I am on break! Have patience and I shall be with ye doing your will shortly'

Soon the news spread that the elves had left without trading and Armok was not pleased. Iffis had gone into hiding knowing full well that Armok would be looking for him but no dwarf can hide for long from the Gaze of the god of blood as he can find them in the units menu.

When Armok found Iffis great was his wrath and he ordered constructed a special chamber just for the dwarf filled with food and a great pool of water masterwork beds and golden furnishings and masterwork engravings, truly the bedroom of Iffis was a wondrous place to behold.

'Armok be praised!' exclaimed Iffis, 'why do you reward me so?'

'Ye are too quick to judge your circumstances as a reward young naïve for ye shalt live out the rest of your pathetic life in this room with food and water. But beware as ye shalt have no alcohol to get through the working day. Ye shalt stay here doing what you have done to displease me at your leisure until you go mad or melancholy and long shalt be your suffering until the day of your untimely death when not even the rats will gnaw at your bones for fear of consuming your guilt. I shall see ye one last time at the day of judgement when I shalt cast ye into the lake of fire along with all other creatures that have invoked my endless wrath'

And it is said that Iffis' screams begging for forgiveness lasted for three years and seven months before he was finally found having drowned himself in the water that had been his horrifying curse; to drink the waters of sin and never again taste the exaltation of booze.


	4. Ch4: Little Devils

**Chapter4: Little devils**

* * *

><p>The hole in the wall took less than a few seconds to make but finding the lake took a lot longer. The cavern was a complete maze and they would have gotten lost if Taffer hadn't had the brains to carve a couple of X marks on some of the mushrooms. When they finally arrived at the lake they were all completely dehydrated and hardly looked around them before jumping down and filling mugs of water desperately.<p>

"I never knew water could taste so good!" wheezed Magnok as the water wetted his dried up vocal chords. Lumpy almost fell in with excitement and would have done so if Urist hadn't held onto the back of his pants.

The lake sparkled in the darkness with what little light some of the glow worms and luminous mushrooms gave. When they had finished drinking and had far more water to drink than was healthy they started on the long haul back. As they walked Taffer would cut down mushrooms on the way. The others picked up as much fungi wood as they could carry and they all headed back to Gishdistnasod painfully aware of the dangers that the caverns had in store for them.

"This place makes me nervous," whispered Urist looking about her in the dark. Every now and again a web would rustle and a little cave spider would scuttle off somewhere.

"What about the rest of the fort I suppose that's just peachy is it?" grumbled Taffer who was holding several lumps of wood and a battle axe, "never mind the undead Yetis that patrol the snowy wastelands outside"

They arrived back finally to a scene of surprise. The entrance to the wall was covered in tiny footprints. Magnok held a hand up as if to tell everyone to be careful and took the axe from Taffer who dropped the wood in bewilderment. Carefully and nervously Magnok crept in and popped his head round the wall of the farms. The plump helmets were all still there in fact there were more of them than when they had left. There were tiny footprints everywhere all over the farm and even a few over the walls.

"Bring the wood inside!" whispered Magnok and they propped it all up in the corner. Carefully they crept up the stairs. There was a rustling from far up above somewhere on the surface of the fort and Urist shuddered.

"What was that?"

"I don't know," replied Magnok, "Whatever it is we all need to be ready to fight"

When they reached the top the noise stopped and they looked about them in the darkness down the menacing passageways. There was no trace of the creatures.

"Lets check the entrance!" suggested Taffer in a whisper and Magnok nodded. They crept down the corridor everyone keeping close behind Magnok who held the axe. Lumpy had his pick ready but apart from those two; the dwarves were completely unarmed.

They came at last to the entrance hall to find it empty mostly apart from the few tables and chairs and mugs from the evening suppers. There were still a few scraps of food lying about but nothing special. There was no noise from the front doors at least nothing unusual discounting the roar of the glacial wind. Taffer popped his head down the long corridor and came back a few minutes later to shrug, "There's nothing at the doors!"

CRASH! They all turned to look into the darkness in the direction of the food stock pile. There was a cacophony of strange noises from inside.

"Come on!" insisted Magnok and they headed sprinting down the corridor. They came to the food storage room axe at the ready and they stood outside the door ready to fight whatever lay inside. Urist was shaking with fear. Taffer somewhat shakily picked up a stone mug ready to bash someone or something over the head with it.

"We know you're in there!" shouted Magnok. There was a crash from inside followed by scurrying. Something knocked against the door and then ran off into the room.

"Alright dwarves ready? We go in on one okay? Three, two…" he said getting ready. For some reason he bit his lips and waited for one.

"ONE!" he shouted and they crashed opened the stone doors and entered into the formerly empty food stockpile. The room was packed with tiny red creatures with tails and horns and long sharp claws. They gazed up at them with large bulging eyes 'EEK!'

"Crundles!" Yelled Taffer before they charged in. What followed was an absolute chaos of noise as empty barrels were knocked through the air and crundles went mad scurrying all over the place hopping and running on their tiny little legs. They were even smaller than the dwarves and were obviously more afraid of them than they were. Magnok swung the iron axe through the air and landed it on one of the Crundles tail. The Severed part went flying through the air in an arc and slapped Urist in the face covering her eyes. She shrieked and went screaming madly around out through the doors and straight into a stone wall falling flat on her back. Lumpy was more successful over all and coshed one of the creatures delivering the pick straight in-between its two horns and into its brains. Nevertheless the creature still managed to stagger away for about six feet with the implement gorged into its head before it finally collapsed in an ooze of blood.

Magnok swashed the axe through the air wildly carving red fleshy limbs and blood. Some of the creatures got out but by this time about six of them were already dead. The survivors scurried out crawling wildly over Urist who was shrieking and had just managed to get the tail off of her face. She yelped in panic as the things crawled over her in a desperate bid to get away down the corridor.

"Come on after them!" yelled Magnok. Lumpy pulled out his pick and the four of them, Urist rather far behind, ran after the things down the passageway and chased them down the steps back towards the caverns. The little things were crazy hopping everywhere off the walls, almost rolling down the steps in the panic to get out. They chased them out into the farms and stopped panting for breath as the crundles ran out into the freedom of the caverns.

"Little bastards!" roared Magnok after them.

"Is everyone okay?" asked Taffer looking round at them. Magnok had a small scratchmark on his hand but it was nothing, it barely passed through the skin. Urist's head was bruised but apart from the shock of the event she seemed fine. Taffer had managed to stay out of the conflict rather sensibly but now talked as much as possible to perhaps make up for the fact that he hadn't really done anything helpful like Urist.

"Okay we better get that wall up again!" he said hurriedly

"Agreed," nodded Magnok and they worked on repairing the hole in the wall. Soon the gap was closed and they all spread out on the muddy floor exhausted. Magnok wiped blood off his face and sleeves.

"We're going to need a butcher's shop," he said wearily, "You feel up to that Taffer?"

"Urgh do I have to?"

"Yes. I'm exhibition leader so you do," insisted Magnok.

"Where do you want it?" he sighed not wanting to argue. Besides there was nobody else who would be any good at it. It was his own fault for talking with Magnok on the way here. He'd only mentioned that he'd been in an apprenticeship as a butcher once to the dwarf but evidently he'd remembered. He had also told Magnok that he'd been sacked for miasma poisoning but he obviously hadn't listened or remembered.

"Lumpy," said Magnok patting the miner on the back, "I want you to carve out a butchers shop for Taffer near the dump okay?"

"Sure Boss!" grinned Lumpy the gap where one of his teeth used to be seemed to have its own little smile.

"Before you go carve out that still for Urist"

Finally things began very slowly to get a bit more stable. A lot of the major stockpiles were carved out now and they already had a place to put the lumps of wood they had brought in. The crundle remains had to be dealt with immediately, otherwise they would undoubtedly go rotten and Taffer reluctantly saw to this. He barely knew what he was doing as a butcher and generally just tried to carve the meat up and get rid of as much bone as he could find. Apparently some dwarves could use bone to make crafts but there was no way in hell Taffer was going to volunteer to try that. Bone crafts personally crept him out.

Urist finally had a grip on what she was doing and seemed to be getting a little better at her job. She brewed and she planted and she planted and she brewed and soon there was plenty of food and wine for everyone. This made all of the dwarves happier except for Magnok who couldn't stand plump helmets, and that really was all that there was to drink. Taffer personally felt it was what he deserved for deciding to embark in such a hellhole. It was nice to see the usually over optimistic dwarf be a little put off by something.

Taffer wasn't hurrying with his butcher job. To be honest he was stalling hoping the meat would go off so he could dump the wretched remains and get on with making some beds. Why couldn't magnok do this job? They had way more mugs and crafts than any sane dwarf could ever hope or desire for. It wasn't as if they needed a dinning room but Magnok was insistent on stocking up early with tables and chairs. Taffer got through about two and a half of the corpses before they started to go off and relieved he delivered the news to Magnok.

"Shame we'll have to dump them," said Magnok and got Lumpy to help out to haul the remains into the dump. When they sat down in the evening a few days later to try some of the meet Taffer was actually pleasantly surprised at how good crundle tasted. It was better than the fly brains they had brought with them at any rate.

"Whatever happened to those Zebra anyway?" asked Urist looking about her over Supper.

Magnok raised an eyebrow, "Oh yea… they must still be outside…"

A long awkward silence followed as they imagined any number of possible horrible fates that those Zebra could have suffered.

"I think we'd best leave that conversation where it is," said Taffer ominously chewing the gristle off a crundle bone, "There's still a load of raw hide which we might be able to turn into leather but I have no idea how to"

Magnok nodded, "Yea we can do that later. Taffer can you make me some beds tomorrow?"

"Of couse," nodded Taffer grimly, "it beats working in a butcher's shop and hey it would be nice to actually start work doing what I actually came here to do"

"Lumpy I think you can take the day off tomorrow," nodded Magnok.

"Thanks boss," he replied with a grin.

"You've done quite enough for us all over the last few weeks"

"Yea you've been a star," said Taffer raising his mug, "A toast to Lumpy?"

Magnok shook his head, "A toast to Lumpy and to the long life of Gishdistnasod!"

The others nodded in approval and they clinked their mugs together. The door to the outside rumbled with some horrific creature moaning on the other side.

"Oh get stuffed!" shouted Magnok down the passageway but it ignored them and continued battering its bones against the stone doors, scratching its bloody nails and moaning abominably.

"We'll be in trouble if those things ever figure out how to open doors," stated Taffer.

"We'll be in trouble if a lot of things happen," retorted Magnok, "let's just try not to think about them for now"

"We're gonna need a drawbridge," added Taffer not listening.

"It's a pity Melia died," said Urist sadly, "she was a mechanic and so very pretty"

"Yea if we had all seven of us we might be a bit better off right now I know," nodded Magnok, "lets just be thankful we've survived this long and not been killed by crundles or Yetis or Armok knows what else"

They continued drinking the same as always and for the first time Magnok was actually able to drink the mushroom wine without being conscious of the taste. They talked long into the evening and as they slept that night weary and tired they dreamed of good dreams. They dreamed of how comfy those beds were going to feel after weeks of sleeping on the cold stone floor.


	5. Ch5: Don't say the M word

**Chatpter 5: Don't say the M word**

* * *

><p>It was a couple of months later after the bedrooms had been set up that an event of some significance happened at the fort. It was late evening, although it was hard to tell as the sky outside was always cloudy and dark, and the dwarves were sitting round the tables of the main hall. They had just sat down for the evening's roast mushroom risotto along with mushroom wine and mushroom biscuits when they heard the doors blast open. Magnok was quick to jump to his feet and get the axe ready. These days he kept it almost perpetually by his side.<p>

"Oh god!" said Taffer standing to his feet, "Yetis?"

They heard the doors slam shut and voices in the long tunnel.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" said a non-Yeti evidently.

Magnok signalled to the others and they peeked their heads round the corner one by one. There were five dwarves standing in the corridor in fur coats and sacks over their shoulders.

"Hello?" they called squinting in the darkness as their eyes were not as accustomed to the dark as our four dwarves.

"Who are you people!" demanded Magnok, "And what do you want?"

A dwarf who looked like their leader stepped forward rubbing his hands, "Please!" he said puffing for breath, "We've come a long way. Our wagon… it was attacked!"

"Oh dear," sighed Taffer, "and we were doing so well…"

The dwarf continued talking looking briefly to the other dwarves around him for encouragement, "you see we were on our way to start an out post on the glacier. It all started a few days ago. We heard strange noises, ghostly scrapings against the side of the wagon. They didn't attack us at first until a few days later. Arrick and the others managed to fend them off the first time but the second time they came back in greater numbers. Our wagon was destroyed. You have to help us!"

"I don't know if this is a good idea," whispered Taffer in his ear, "We were doing fine by ourselves"

"I thought it was you that wanted more dwarves?" hissed Magnok back, "nevertheless I'll talk to them"

He turned back to face the leader and nodded anxiously, "So what are your professions?"

"Forgive me," said the leader, "My name is Zasit I'm a mechanic. This is Kadol," he said gesturing to a chubby fat dwarf lady, "she's a cook and a butcher"

"Oh we need her," said Taffer nudging Magnok in the ribs

"This here is Shorast a talented weaponsmith," he said pointing to a dark haired dwarf who nodded, "this here is Goden. He doesn't talk much but he's good with a hammer. He was part of the squad assigned to protect us. Unfortunately he's also the only part left," he sighed shaking his head.

"This beautiful lady here," he continued gesturing to a female dwarf, " is Erria the jewler"

"Lose her! Lose her!" hissed Taffer in Magnok's ear, "She's useless keep the other ones but lose her! Find an excuse and send her out to gather wood or something!"

"Er I can… hear you talking…" said Erria uncomfortably.

Magnok grinned his optimistic smile and looked down lustfully at the beautiful Erria, "I don't know I think she'll make a good brewer"

"I'm a jeweller," she replied with a frown.

"I think she'll make a good jeweller," he said ignoring that he had been corrected. He gazed at her neat blond pigtails all braided up and at her beautiful blue eyes, "I think we can find a place for her jewelling and stuff. Don't you think?"

"She's very pretty," observed Urist.

"What? That doesn't even make sense!" said Taffer irritably, "how is that a premise for anything!"

"Yes I think we can find places for you all," beamed Magnok, "Taffer show Erria to the jewels will you?"

"We don't have any jewels or gemstones or anything," said Taffer his eyebrows horizontal, "do you want me to show her to the raw hides dripping with rotten crundle meat instead?"

Magnok briefly glared at Taffer before turning back to Erria with a beaming smile, "We'll find you some gems to cut don't worry. Taffer we're going to need some more beds for our guests but for now Erria you are welcome to sleep in my room…"

"Er no thanks…" she said warily, "its okay I can sleep on the floor"

"Are you sure? It gets very cold at night?"

"Yes I'm fine. Really…" she added.

"So then… come in?" said Magnok with an unsteady grin. He led them down the corridor to the hall and they sat down on a few of the spare chairs.

The five new dwarves talked uneasily about the horrors of the planes outside. It seemed that Magnok and his party had been lucky with their embark. Zasit and his people had originally set out with fourteen although the expedition leader was now dead along with the other eight. They were five migrants if you could call them that.

The group had some food with them which they dutifully shared out. If they wanted to stay here without a fight then they would have to make a good first impression and Zasit knew this only too well.

There was great joy amongst Magnok and his dwarves who had not tasted cave lobster for months [or anything other than mushrooms]. Most of the food was eaten that night but there was a little left over for the following days. Taffer stuffed some of the sweet breads in his pockets when nobody was looking. He might as well make the most of a bad situation.

"I don't know if you've heard of Tobul Kolasmel?" said Shorast the dark haired weaponsmith.

"Isn't he the legendary weapon smith who created the hammer Grond?" asked Taffer once again showing an irritating display of knowledge.

"Indeed he is," said Shorast with pride, "I studied with him in dwarf city"

"Good for you," said Magnok indifferently giving the impression far too easily that he really didn't care, he turned his head to look at Zasit and started speaking with his mouth half full.

"So why did you come out here? This isn't exactly Undergrotto is it?"

"Well we came out to start an outpost," sighed Zasit fiddling with a stone mug, "I don't know in hindsight why. The others had such enthusiasm at the time. I guess I was just convinced; bored with the monotony of life"

"Are you still going to start your outpost somewhere?" probed Taffer.

Zasit fell silent and looked awkward, "Well I don't know what the rest of you think, but I was kind of hoping to stay here and do our best, maybe make a living with you people?"

"You can stay here as long as you like!" chirped up Urist, "Right Lumpy?"

"Wrgt!" he replied his mouth full of sweet bread. Taffer slapped his hand against his head.

"So," said Zasit stroking the stone table, "Who is who amongst you dwarves? I take it you are the leader?"

"Yes," replied Magnok, "My name is Magnok, stone mason and stone crafter. This here to my right is Taffer a carpenter and butcher"

"I'm not a butcher," he glared.

"Oh how exciting!" smiled Kadol the chubby dwarf. She grinned at Taffer, "I'm sure we can have lots of fun in the kitchen!"

"Yes except that, I'm not a butcher!" he reiterated, "I just had to do it because we had dead crundles and if I didn't they would all have started to rot. Still that can be your job now so have fun with all the rotting corpses we're going to bring you"

"What, you mean to say you opened the caverns?" asked Zasit looking shocked.

"Yea don't worry about it we walled it off," shrugged Magnok, "It's perfectly safe. Besides it's the only way Urist can farm in this wasteland"

"Walling it off isn't enough. There are creatures in the depths that are perfectly capable of flying over walls," said Zasit with a shake of his head.

"He has got a point," said Taffer, "I've heard of Giant bats and of course the forgotten beasts that roam the subterranean lands always lusting after flesh. The creatures of the depth which have no name"

"We can deal with it in our own time," shrugged Magnok, "it's hardly a problem. We've been here what a couple of months now? Haven't seen so much as one forgotten beast"

Zasit did not look at all convinced but he kept his thoughts to himself all the same.

"Well lads," said Magnok when everyone was drunk and full of food, "I think it's time to get sleeping wherever it is you want to sleep. In the morning I'll get lumpy here to carve out some rooms for you all and we'll get some beds made aye Taffer?"

"Aye…" he responded half-heartedly.

"I expect you all to help with carrying the stone to the dump, as they're going to be your rooms after all"

"Where is it?" asked Kadol pushing a final piece of mushroom into her podgy lips, "The dump I mean?"

"We'll show you tomorrow," said Magnok waving his hands, "Enough for tonight I must bid you good night. Tomorrow we will outline how we can further put our talents to the glory of Armok"

"Or just plan how not to get killed for the rest of the year," added Taffer

"That too," nodded Magnok, "Dwarves! Good night!" he said raising his mug with a slosh of alcohol. He promptly fell over backwards and passed out.

Taffer leaned over and took a piece of the sweet bread left on his plate and dipped it in the mushroom wine, "So there's an extra spare bed if anyone wants it tonight"

"He's your leader?" asked Erriol in disbelief

"Yep, life's a bitch eh?"

"He's a pervert," she said, "I can't believe he suggested that to me"

"Yea he's like that what a reacher huh? Anyway about beds… You're welcome to sleep in my room for the night if…"

"No thanks…"

"Oh well…" sighed Taffer clicking his fingers, "It was worth a try"

Kadol was quick to claim Magnok's bed for the night as the others were all too polite. Taffer soon found himself dreaming away in his nice Fungiwood bed. He'd saved the nicest bed for himself and he grinned as he snuggled up under the covers at the thought of Magnok waking up on the freezing floor. The rest of the migrants went to sleep in the hall. They listened shivering to the wind outside and that horrible whistle that came in through the crack in the doors. There was mixed feelings about the encounter on both sides. Both sides were of course wondering why on earth they'd decided to embark here in the first place.

* * *

><p>Morning came to the fortress with hardly the slightest inclination as there was next to no light that could make its way inside from those freezing tundra skies. The migrants groaned as they looked about them in the dark their eyes slightly more used to the gloom now. Shorast the weapon smith groaned as he rolled over. Every part of him ached and was freezing.<p>

Magnok was still out cold drooling on the floor when Taffer walked in. He strolled in stepping over the hammer dwarf Goden and pulled up a stone chair loudly to seat himself where Magnok had been seated the night before. Pulling out sweet bread from his pockets he started munching loudly and poured himself a drink.

"Have you heard of sneaking?" grumbled Zasit rubbing his head.

"Yes," shrugged Taffer munching away, "Its time for you guys to get up anyway"

"Maybe you should wake him up?" suggested Shorast pointing to Magnok on the floor.

"No that's okay. My life is good while he's not conscious I was hoping to keep it that way, at least a little bit longer"

Kadol groaned watching Taffer eat through the gloom. Goden propped himself up leaning on his copper war hammer and pushed himself uneasily to his feet. Standing over Magnok he turned his hammer round the other way and poked the expedition leader in the ribs.

"Please not the plump helmet men!" he whimpered drooling over the axe handle.

"Try poking him in the teeth," suggested Taffer not looking up from his breakfast.

"This is awkward," said Zasit rubbing his head.


End file.
